Holy cow. I didn't realize it had been so long. I will say that yes I'm alive here, for the six of you who read this, things are mostly well and wonderful. However, I'm having the longest day ever with back pain. So, I'll need to come back to write something more, better, even remotely insightful or thoughtful.

I'm here! I'm here!

I suspect I'll have a long-winded post soon enough. The small person has a speech eval tomorrow. We'll see how that plays out. I hesitate to talk about it here, but mostly I hesitate on a lot here. Public and private does tend to shift as the family changes.

But I'm here! I'm here!

Posted by talkingcrow at 08:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

generally, I'm a don't.

i've blocked exactly one pair of socks on my fancy sock blockers.

I've never blocked another thing in my life. nope. i just knit. generally, if it needs to be blocked i don't knit it. well, you know, generally.

BUT NOW, now I'm blocking something. I really need it to be bigger, but it's also lace. Kinda for reals. And it is lovely yarn (STR lightweight, covelite colorway). I should be taking pics but I'm just too lazy and Top Gear is on.

It could be pretty fantastic.

ravelry link.

Posted by talkingcrow at 11:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm having a hard time with this feeling of giving up. But what else do you do? Go insane, or just be depressed?

The house is always a mess, not enough storage, and I live with other people. Granted, we've just embraced laundry piles as a way of life. Just have to keep track of clean and not clean.

There's part of the kitchen celing that needs to be repaired from old water damage. Fortunately at least the roof part is taken care of. No good reason other than we don't have a reliable contractor.

The car needs to go in for scheduled maintenance. Long story, I'm putting it off and it doesn't seem to magically take care of itself.

I chipped my tooth, I can't figure out what to do about a dentist. Go back to the old one who I don't like but is now covered as a preferred dentist (wasn't when I left, and I wasn't going to go to someone I didn't like AND pay extra). PLUS I haven't had my teeth cleaned in awhile. So not me. But there it is. Should find a new one, have some recommendations, but simply have not had any more time to devote to dentist reviews. Jeebus.

Clothes shopping. That should be self-explanatory.

Laundry, aside from the above, I can't run the laundry while monkeybaby sleeps, it's in the basement directly under his crib. I want him to sleep more than I want clean underwear. And that is just how it plays out.

My back is a mess again. Should get cortisone shots. Uh huh, in my spare time.

Sleep. I stay up too late just so I have time to string 3 thoughts together. By myself. In my head.

Walking the dog. Poor guy needs WAYYYY more exercise. I've got so little left for that.

If monkeybaby is awake, he requires my attention. If he's not, I have to be working. Or cooking the second dinner for grownups, or if it's late enough, I have to think my three thoughts.

There are piles of crap everywhere in this house all the time. Ok, not literally. Although there are small rooms that need cleaning. Plus the yard, plus 600 house projects.

It is absolutely irrelevant to make lists if nothing ever happens. And we're in the stage that if I want to leave the house it's roughly a 90 minute extraction if everything goes perfectly.

thank god for amazon fresh, otherwise we'd probably starve.

Posted by talkingcrow at 05:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

qui es mas macho?

awesome.

Posted by talkingcrow at 02:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

yesterday a friend called me a frontier wife. last night a different friend and i agreed that doing the housewife gig might not be so bad afterall and maybe we were all a little bit wrong about that being a bad thing.

i think what it boils down to is that after working since i was 15, taking some time off to be a mom, and just kind of being home is pretty great. it does however push all my nesting buttons all the time. most of the time all i want to do is bake and garden and knit and take walks with the small person. the reality is that i have to work while he sleeps and then some, and in the evenings i'm pretty exhausted.

still.

all this sun makes me want to work in the yard and get it cleaned up and ready for spring. a new cast iron pan came in the mail yesterday so i'm itching to make something that requires a cocotte-ish type vessel. braised lamb shanks are speaking to me.

i do wish the two year old would eat more variety so i wasn't cooking two dinners every night.

i could read food and design blogs all day to boot. and there are little chickadees that come in a procession all day to the window birdfeeder.

time goes past, i'm not out in the "real world" too much. and while i do feel like some parts of my life are now gone forever, i do like this peaceful place. i'm going to try to enjoy it while i can, soon enough the small person will be in preschool and then school proper and i'll be back to working out there. for now the days slip by with few markers, it's beautiful out and it's all just fine.

Posted by talkingcrow at 01:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

my favorite little bistro in paris is le polidor. when in paris i eat there at least a few times each visit. granted, it's been awhile since i've been to paris. and my budget wasn't for big fancy places. and i was generally travelling alone. le polidor was a perfectly comfortable place to eat alone in paris. it's about half family style tables and one thanksgiving i happened to be in paris and met some nice people sitting next to me with whom i eventually had a nice evening out in their neighborhood in london.

while reading various foodie blogs, this came to mind. i write it down to remember when the name of the restaurant leaves my head again.

i look forward to one day taking monkeybaby to london before his best friend E. moves back. and attached to that (with any luck) a rousing jaunt to paris. one day. when the economy doesn't suck, etc.

now i just have to remember where that super weird park is with the fakey grotto. that was really odd.

Posted by talkingcrow at 11:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The other day I was talking to my friend David. About how much our kids weigh, and other things. Monkeydad said "almost 25 pounds". And to David I said, "about as much as a bag of clay". Very slightly startled he laughed and said "yes, that's my unit of measure too".

Strangely or not, since I lugged around bags of clay they have been my benchmark.

Last night, late, tired, I thought to myself "I'm going to have to look up what that is called" as monkeybaby put his hand on me as he drifted back to sleep on my lap. He curls into me and especially when I have on a more minimalist shirt will put his left hand on my neck and arms and collarbone-ish area for security. His right arm is against me and his right hand is in his mouth. I realized as I felt his tiny hand, slightly cooler than my chest that he was putting his hand on my heart.

The other day as we had dinner I was sitting next to him and wearing a sleeveless shirt he was pointing at my freckles and kissing them. I'm assuming he thought they were boo-boos.

Time ticks by. I am so thankful for him. He's a right pain sometimes, but even in the midst of a screaming meltdown in the doorway of the supermarket because he didn't want to hold my hand if he was going to walk, 9 times out of 10 I'm able to pick him up and snuggle him and he calms down quickly and we go along as needed.*

*this does not apply to dinner table tantrums, those are frequently beyond fixing by merely being mama.

Posted by talkingcrow at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

went to visit with A. tonight, left the boys at home due to potential pending illness. benefit was a bunch of great food, nice wine, girl time, and kitchen hand me downs (due to the move and she's good at getting rid of stuff).

dinner was -
yummy meatballs
roasted cauliflower with bacon
rancho gordo flageolet beans with onion, celery, s/p, o/v. (my contribution)
a lovely bottle of wine
crazy italian roasted figs with blue cheese

everything was super superb. oh dear lord i ate too much. it was sooooo good. AND junior birdman (her son) is on.the.move. he's just started the whole crawling thing and he's having a great time. eating, crawling, eating.

a very nice evening. apparently i just needed to leave the house for monkeybaby to have a good time. he'd been a wreck all day but was fine for monkeydad. BYE MAMA.

i really must get some exercise to fend off these meals.

Posted by talkingcrow at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I can only reveal part of this right now, but seriously. Once upon a time, it was Rutger Hauer. And Chow-Yun Fat, and Colin Firth, and Stephen Moyer (ok the last two still stand). But holy cow, my NEW crush can play the piano like a madman, and sing, and so much more.

I'll explain later. HOTT.

Yeah, I know. I think monkeydad accepts my random ravings because he knows the deal, that he's my heart and soul (and the real life version of what I think the characters are).

I'm totally getting the thing representing the crush-object for monkeydad for valentines day. Awesome.

Posted by talkingcrow at 08:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The other night I had to make a confession to monkeydad. I started cracking up to the point of crying. It was awesomely funny in that slightly embarrassing way.

All those pretty photoshoots got the better of me. In addition to lovely Annick and her silver. Before I knew it there were several eBay auctions won. oops.

"honey, um, I have to confess something. today i bought 46 forks. it just happened."

one of the auctions was for 23 vintage masonic forks stamped with OES, which is for Order of the Eastern Star. my grandmother was in eastern star. i bid, i won. five bucks. the seller told me there were two lots - i could have more if i wanted. i asked if they were all forks, hoping for some spoons or knives or anything else. nope. just forks. i was going to say i didn't really NEED 23 let alone 46. but that's not what happened. when the universe offers you 46 easter star forks, there's probably a reason, you have to step toward it.

the other auctions were won for nearly pennies. my favorite thing is to win auctions for under $5. random stuff, which i will enjoy, and when i don't it will be treasure for someone else. i *am* a crow, shiny things are irresistable.

i love the look of the silver for serving and mismatched martha tables. i am very visual - these things please me.

Posted by talkingcrow at 01:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)